BDSM Terms

A

Abuse	Treating another person with physical or mental cruelty, usually on a regular basis and against their will. A fundamental difference between BDSM and abuse is that the former is consensual but the latter isn't.
Aftershock	After a long session or play, some submissives may experience effects from their body being used in shock from the pain. (trembling, feeling of cold)
Asphyxiation	Asphyxiation is the unconsciousness and ultimately death which happens when the supply of oxygen to your brain is cut off. This can happen in auto-erotic strangulation or other breath-control play.

B

Ball gag	Toy used in BDSM play to prevent a sub from speaking. Mouth pieces are usually made from a rubber ball that is jammed between a submissive teeth and secure in place by a strap or a little string. Could be made of plastic or leather too.
BD	Refer to Bondage and Discipline play (see Bondage)
BDSM	Name of a lifestyle shared by many people. The word BDSM is a combination of 3 acronyms, BD for Bondage Discipline, DS for Domination and Submission and SM for Sado Masochistic. Considered either like a grave deviance or a and healthy sexual game/orientation by the medical institutions, people who share this lifestyle believe in having a relationship where one of the people by mutually agreed upon consent is in a position of power/domination (DS) often by using means of bondage discipline (BD) and Sado masochistic (SM) over the other person in this relationship. This relationship could be for a brief moment (a play) or for a longer period of time (permanent relationship)
Blood Play	Type of play which involves blood. Considered a fetish.
Bondage	Type of play which uses restraints which could include handcuffs, ropes, shackles etc. Considered a fetish.
Bottom	In a BDSM relationship, the "Bottom" is the same as a the "submissive" In some more specialized relationships, the "bottom" is the one who gives up control (For instance, in a pure Sado Masochistic relationship without Domination Submission or Bondage Discipline, the one who receives the pain is the bottom)
Brown Play	See Scat

C

Cane	Type of toy used in S&M play. Usually made of flexible material like bamboo. Used for spanking play and designed to be used lightly for real life play.
Clamp (Nipple)	Toy used in S&M play. Kind of clamp like clothespin, to pinch areas of the body such as the breast.
Collar	A toy made of material, leather or metal, which goes around the neck of the submissive to show his or her belonging to a Dominant. OR.. Term used in the BDSM to say that someone is "collared" to a Dominant (means that the person wearing the collar belongs to a Dominant)
Contract	Agreement usually on paper, between a Dominant and a submissive. Usually the terms of ownership of the submissive, by the Dominant, as well as major limits set by the submissive are outlined in the contract. The Dominant agrees to the terms on the contract and accept to respect them.
Crop	Toy used in BDSM play and S&M play. Originally, crops were used to control horses. Now commonly used to inflict pain in S&M play and often used to control the submissive in BDSM play.
Cuffs	Toys used in bondage play to restrains either arms, wrist, legs or ankle from moving. Could be made of leather or metal.
Cyber	Refer to type of play or relationship which is "online" or only through the use of internet. (Some people refer to the usage of phone as "online" too).

D

Discipline	Type of play which uses some form of control on a person by another person, through the use of reward and punishment.
Dom or Dominant	Within a BDSM relationship, the person that by mutual consent is in control of the relationship. Could be a man or a woman
Domination	Type of play use in BDSM play. Play based on controlling a submissive by a Dominant. Considered a fetish.
Ds or D/s	Referring to a relationship between a Dominant and submissive
Dungeon	Place where S&M play usually takes place. Cam also be referred to as the "Playroom".

E

Endorphin

Hormone secreted by the body, when experiencing pain. The body's natural painkiller. Creates a euphoria effect on the person receiving the pain. It permits that person to receive more pain because endorphin has analgesic effect. When a person is under the influence of endorphins, usually it is said that he or she is in "subspace"

F

Feminisation	Play in BDSM where a man is "changed" in a woman by his Dom. Considered a fetish. May or may not have humiliation as a motive.
Flogger	A type of toy used by S & M people. A whip with many strands, specialized mostly for the buttock area or the breasts

G

Go Word	Like a safe word, a "Go Word" is an OK from the Submissive to go ahead with the play, when there was a stop to a play (usually after a "Safeword" or a "Slow word"
Golden Shower	Type of play which uses urine. Considered a fetish. Call "water play" by others

L

Lifestyle

Set of values according to which, a person lives his or her life. Includes the beliefs that person could have.

M

Masochist	A person who likes pain and gets sexual excitement/satisfaction from it. There are different kinds of masochists. Some will like any kind of pain and others will only like pain in a sexual context.
Master or Mistress	In a BDSM relationship, the dominant person is often referred to as "Master" by His sub, if He is a man. Obviously in the case of a woman, She will be referred as "Mistress"
Munch	A discreet social gathering of BDSM people, usually in a restaurant, with the people dressed in "regular clothing". People usually exchange tricks and beliefs about the BDSM lifestyle, in a non threatening situation. A great way to meet others in the BDSM lifestyle safely.

O

Online

See under "Cyber"

P

Paddle	Type of toy used by S&M people. It is a kind of board, made of different type of material, specially made for spanking.
Pain Slut	Man or woman who really likes pain. This what we can call a "real" Masochist. Often referring to an unsafe player who will play indiscreetly. Usually but not always a derogative term.
Play	Two definitions possible: Refers to a scene in BDSM. Could be a specialized fetish play (for instance, could be a rope play, or wax play)
Play Room	Room where a BDSM scene, play or session take place. Known as dungeon too.

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