BDSM & D/s
Glossary of Terms
BDSM - an acronym that combines
abbreviations for Bondage and Domination, Domination and Submission,
and Sadism and Masochism (B&D + D/s + S&M = BDSM). It is meant to be
an all-inclusive term for these related erotic fetishes.
Collar - a symbol of possession used to denote some sort of committed
relationship between a sexual Dominant and a sexual submissive.
Control Freak - slang for a person
with a dysfunctional personality type usually referred to as a
“controlling personality.”
Cyber - slang for being online.
Often refers to Cyber-sex.
Cyber Sex - interacting with
another person online for the express purpose of sexual arousal.
D/s - abbr. for Domination and
Submission.
Dom - abbr. or slang for a
(usually male) sexual Dominant. A person that derives sexual and
mental satisfaction from taking control of intimate sexual encounters.
They are often simulated by using techniques such as sexual sadism,
bondage, domineering role-play, and generally taking a commanding role
in intimate situations.
Domme - abbr. or slang for a
female sexual Dominant. See also Dom.
HNG - acronym for “Horny Net
Geek.”
Limit - something that either
partner in a BDSM relationship will not do, or does not like.
Basically, a specific preference concerning BDSM play. The
submissive’s Limits should always take precedence over the Dominant’s.
Limits should always be discussed and set out before a Scene ever
starts. Respecting Limits is not an option, it’s a requirement.
Master - A title of honour for a
(male) sexual Dominant that usually denotes either a high level of
experience or competence. Also used (voluntarily) as a title of
respect for Dominants that have served the BDSM community as a whole.
Alternatively used as a term of endearment for the Dom in a Scene
featuring “Master/slave” role-playing. Similar titles include Sir,
Lord, and Daddy.
Mistress - A title of honour for a
(female) sexual Dominant that usually denotes either a high level of
experience or competence. Also used (voluntarily) as a title of
respect for female Dominants that have served the BDSM community as a
whole. Alternatively used as a term of endearment for the Domme in a
Scene featuring “Mistress/slave” role-playing. Similar titles include
Ma’am, Lady, and Momma.
S&M or S/m - abbr. for Sadism &
Masochism, or Sadomasochism.
Safe Word - a code word used by
the submissive to signal his/her Dominant partner to either stop, slow
down, or even completely end a Scene. “Safe Signals” must be
substituted when the submissive is gagged or cannot otherwise speak.
These are not an option for safe play, they are a requirement.
Safety Net - a person or persons
who take the responsibility to make sure that your real life meeting
with a prospective play partner is safe. This can range from actually
“chaperoning” the meeting to setting up “safe calls” and so forth.
This is a requirement for submissive's, not an option, as it is the
only defence they have against predators, rapists, and con artists.
Learn how to set one up and set them up religiously. Even vanilla
women should learn to do this!
Sexual Masochist - a person that
can experience profound arousal and/or euphoria from controlled doses
of pain and other extreme stimuli.
Sexual Sadist - a person that can
experience profound arousal and/or euphoria from inflicting carefully
controlled doses of pain and other extreme stimuli on sexual
Masochists. They DO NOT generally enjoy inflicting pain for its own
sake. Nor do they enjoy using such stimuli on people that do not find
it pleasurable.
Slave - a title of endearment and
ownership given to sexual submissive's that are participating in
Master/slave lifestyles or role-playing. This usually signifies that
the submissive wears the “Collar” of a particular Dominant.
Alternatively used (voluntarily) as a title of respect for
submissive's that have served the BDSM community as a whole. Similar
titles include, boy, girl, or sissy,
Sub - abbr. or slang for a sexual
submissive. A person who derives sexual and mental satisfaction from
having control taken away from them in intimate sexual situations.
They are often (but not always) sexual masochists. They often derive
pleasure from bondage, and generally taking a subservient role in
intimate situations.
Scene - slang for relating to
BDSM. As in “Yes, she’s a legitimate player in the Scene.” Also slang
for a specific session of BDSM. As in “I was in this wonderful Scene
last night.” Often used as a verb in the same case; “They scened at
the party last night.”
Subbie - common endearment for a
sexual submissive, usually (but not always) for a female submissive.
Vanilla - slang for things that
are not “kinky” or not related to sexual Dominance and submission.
Victim - a victim of abuse that
claims to be in a BDSM “lifestyle” to rationalize/legitimise their
tragic situation.
Wannabe - derogatory; most often
refers to a person that pretends to be a legitimate real life
practitioner of BDSM, while actually having little or no practical
experience.
